What are some small things you can do to make your partner feel appreciated? I always refer to the four critical moments as a place to start with this. The four critical moments are: when you first wake up, when you say goodbye for the day, when you first see each other at the end of the day, and when you say goodnight. To do this this exercise, each partner writes what words and physical affection they would want at those 4 moments and give your list to your partner. These are small moments with small gestures, but set a connecting tone for the day and the relationship in general. Here are some other small things you can do to make your partner feel appreciated:

Take time each day to sit down and give each other a verbal appreciation, or text your partner an appreciation, something small and specific. If you sit together and look at each other, even better. It's a nice thing to model in front of your kids as well. This is a little deeper than just saying thank you as we go through our day, but a concentrated effort to give them a gift of appreciation. 

This is the flip side of the issue; if you are a critical person, or get easily annoyed or irritated by your partner or roll your eyes, after a while, your partner's brain will only experience you as a source of pain, not pleasure. The appreciation won't mean as much - so what you DONT do is as important as what you DO do. 

Compliment them about their body, their smile, their essence qualities on a regular basis. Make it a point to write down all the things you love about them, and say them as part of an ongoing climate of your relationship. We can't hear it too much, right? Your wife feels bad about her body? Let her know you only see her as beautiful - you get the picture! 

There are so many suggestions people have written about, but I like to remind my couples that kindness is the name of the name. “Practice kindness whenever possible; it is ALWAYS possible" - Dalai Lama. It will make your partner feel very safe, loved, and appreciated, always.